I just wanted to make a new blog the last one I made I decided to remove. I was upset when I wrote it, and it really didn’t need to be published.
So today we are going to talk about being friends with an Introvert, (aka Me). I just want all my friends to know that I love y’all and if I don’t come to something or I don’t want to go anywhere a certain night it isn’t because of y’all. It is all me. There are nights I just want to lay around. I also tend to avoid place with a lot of people. That though I believe is due to anxiety.
I know there are people out there that think I am a slacker. I am not a slacker, in fact I have been working since I was 15 about to be 16. The thing going on right now is that I am sick. I am trying to get things in order. I have depression, extreme OCD and extreme anxiety. It isn’t easy to live with. I am going to be working again, but there is only certain jobs that I have been approved for by my doctor. Those include low stress and only a few number people to work with. Finding a job like that in Laurel? Yeah it is hard!! I tend to be slow at doing things like work (Sweeping, cleaning, and even making coffee or something to drink), which I can’t help. I can’t be a cashier because I can’t handle the stress. I see everything laid out there on the counter and the line is backed up and I start panicking. I just can’t do it.
I really can’t go into everything that comes with being an introvert, but Google it and read about it. I also hate having to get money from my Parents, my brother and friends. I know I should have, and be making my own money, but I can’t right now, so going out on the weekends I usually have about $5. there isn’t a lot you can do with $5 so I like to go sit and Jitters and just talk with everyone. I have become a early to get home type of person, which a lot of that is because I have to take my meds on time. I once was able to stay out all night, not anymore.
I guess I wanted to write this to kinda explain my situation I am in at this time. I know I don’t have to explain anything to anyone if I don’t want to, but I wanted to. People see the outside me laughing, smiling, cutting up, but let me tell you I am a damn good actor. I have been putting on a show for many years. Firstly with hiding being Gay and secondly with hiding my feelings.
I have started to realize that I can be honest and it isn’t going to hurt anyone. So I am getting to where I don’t hide my feelings as much. It will all come together in time.
Remember I love you all!!
Much Love Always!!!